Dealing With Discontent: Strategies For Managing Unhappy Campers

Handling an upset camper can be challenging, but with the right strategies, it is possible to resolve conflicts and create a positive camp experience for everyone involved. It is important to remember that conflicts between campers are normal and can arise due to various reasons, such as peer relationships, adjusting to new situations, or simply being tired, hungry, or hot. As a camp counselor, it is crucial to stay calm and patient, set clear rules and expectations, and encourage empathy and gratitude among campers. When conflicts arise, separate the campers involved, hear both sides of the story, and facilitate a group discussion to resolve the issue. It is also essential to reinforce camp rules, address the underlying causes of the conflict, and encourage campers to take responsibility for their actions.

Separate campers and hear both sides of the story

When conflicts arise between campers, it is important to respond promptly to prevent escalation. Follow your camp's policies on separating campers, and give clear directions to the campers involved. Allow campers to cool down, and move them away from each other if necessary. Angry verbal exchanges should be avoided.

Once everyone has calmed down, speak to each camper individually and listen to their concerns without being critical. Seek to understand the issues and the underlying causes of the conflict. When speaking to each camper, it is important to remain impartial and calm. Ask open-ended questions to understand what happened during the conflict and how they are feeling. For example, "What happened when you were playing that game today?" or "I can see how worried you are. What do you need to help you feel better?".

After hearing both sides, promote a discussion about how to come to an agreement and a workable solution. Encourage campers to take responsibility for their share of the conflict and to look for ways to correct, improve, and prevent future conflicts. Help them to learn effective, non-violent ways to resolve conflicts, using mistakes as learning opportunities.

Give the camper a chance to explain

When dealing with an upset camper, it is important to give them a chance to explain their side of the story. This can help you understand the underlying reasons for their behaviour and allow you to address any issues they may be facing. Here are some tips on how to effectively handle this situation:

Separate the Camper

Firstly, remove the camper from the group and take them to a quiet place where they can calm down. This will give them a chance to collect their thoughts and emotions before discussing the issue at hand. It is important to be patient during this process as it may take some time for the camper to become calm and rational.

Listen to Their Explanation

Once the camper is calm, ask them to explain their side of the story. Listen without being critical and seek to understand their concerns. Remember that there may be various reasons for their behaviour, such as homesickness, tiredness, or a misunderstanding with another camper. Show empathy and try to put yourself in their shoes to gain a better understanding of their perspective.

Ask Open-Ended Questions

During your discussion with the camper, ask open-ended questions to encourage them to elaborate on their feelings and thoughts. For example, you could ask, "How did that situation make you feel?" or "What do you think could have been handled differently?" This will help you gather more information and show the camper that you are genuinely interested in their perspective.

Validate Their Feelings

After hearing the camper's explanation, acknowledge their feelings and let them know that you understand their point of view. This can help build trust and make the camper feel respected and valued. For example, you could say something like, "I understand why you felt upset in that situation, and I'm here to help us figure out a solution together."

Work Together Towards a Solution

Instead of simply imposing a punishment, involve the camper in the process of finding a solution. Ask them for their ideas on how to handle similar situations in the future and work collaboratively to develop a plan that addresses their specific needs and concerns. This will empower them and make them feel like an active participant in resolving the issue.

Follow Up and Provide Support

After discussing the issue and deciding on a solution, follow up with the camper to see how they are doing. Check in regularly to ensure that the agreed-upon plan is working for them and make any necessary adjustments. Let them know that you are there to support them and that they can come to you if any issues arise in the future.

Remember that each situation is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to handling upset campers. Adapt your approach to fit the specific circumstances and the individual needs of the camper. By giving them a chance to explain and working together towards a resolution, you can help create a positive and supportive environment for everyone involved.

Be impartial and consistent

When dealing with an upset camper, it's important to remain impartial and consistent. Here are some strategies to achieve this:

Establish Clear Rules and Expectations

It is essential to set clear and concise rules and expectations for campers' behaviour. These rules should be communicated to both the campers and their parents or guardians from the very beginning. Review the rules regularly to ensure everyone is on the same page. This consistency will help prevent conflicts and behavioural issues.

Be Consistent in Your Discipline

Apply the rules uniformly and consistently. Inconsistent discipline can confuse campers and lead to further problems. Ensure that all counsellors are on the same page regarding discipline strategies. This includes agreeing on consequences for rule-breaking and ensuring these consequences are enforced fairly and consistently.

Focus on Behaviour, Not Personality

When addressing an upset camper, emphasise that their behaviour is the problem, not their personality. Help them understand that their actions have consequences and guide them towards identifying acceptable alternatives to their problematic behaviour. This approach can empower campers to take responsibility for their actions and make positive changes.

Give Campers a Voice

While certain rules, especially those related to health and safety, should be non-negotiable, giving campers a say in establishing some rules can increase their sense of ownership and encourage them to follow them. Ask for their input on rules for camp, cabins, activities, and free time. You might be surprised by their suggestions and willingness to abide by rules they helped create.

Be Patient and Adapt Your Approach

Remember that each camper is unique, and their behaviours may be driven by various motives, such as a desire for attention, anger, physical exhaustion, or homesickness. Get to know your campers and try to understand their individual personalities, traits, and habits. This knowledge will enable you to tailor your disciplinary strategies to their specific needs and increase the likelihood of a positive outcome.

Provide Support and Guidance

As a counsellor, your role is to guide campers towards resolving conflicts and behavioural issues. Avoid the temptation to solve their problems for them. Instead, provide a supportive environment for them to learn from their mistakes and develop essential conflict resolution skills. Be patient as they work through their issues and offer assistance when needed.

Remember, remaining impartial and consistent in your approach to discipline will help create a safe, fair, and respectful environment for everyone involved.

Avoid embarrassing the camper

Dealing with an upset camper can be challenging, and it's important to remember that discipline should not involve embarrassing the camper. Here are some strategies to avoid embarrassing an upset camper while maintaining discipline:

Keep Calm and Private:

It is crucial to stay calm when addressing an upset camper. Avoid losing your temper or displaying strong negative emotions. If possible, address the camper's behaviour in private. This helps to maintain the camper's dignity and avoids public embarrassment. Discipline should be firm but respectful.

Understand the Camper's Perspective:

Give the camper an opportunity to explain their behaviour. They may have a valid reason for their actions. Listen to their perspective and try to understand their motivations. This approach can help you identify acceptable alternatives to the problematic behaviour and guide the camper towards better choices.

Focus on Behaviour, Not Personality:

When addressing the camper, stress that their behaviour is the problem, not their personality. This distinction is essential to avoid making the camper feel attacked or embarrassed. Help the camper understand that their actions have consequences and guide them towards more positive alternatives.

Be Consistent and Impartial:

Consistency and impartiality are key. Apply the rules consistently across all campers to avoid any perception of favouritism or unfair treatment. This approach helps maintain discipline without resorting to embarrassing individual campers.

Provide Clear Rules and Consequences:

Clearly communicate the rules and expectations to the campers and their parents. Ensure campers understand the consequences of breaking the rules. This way, if a camper breaks a rule, they are aware of the consequences, and you can enforce them without causing embarrassment.

Use Positive Reinforcement:

Instead of focusing solely on punishment, try using positive reinforcement. Encourage campers to show empathy, gratitude, and support for each other. Help them understand the impact of their actions on others and guide them towards more positive behaviours.

Address Sensitive Issues with Care:

If a camper shares something sensitive with you, handle it with discretion and empathy. Be a supportive friend and guide without being judgmental. Seek additional help if the situation warrants it, especially in cases of self-harm, suicidal thoughts, serious health issues, or assaults.

Remember, the goal is to maintain a safe and positive environment for all campers while respecting their dignity. Discipline should be fair and consistent, and any consequences should be reasonable and pre-established. By following these strategies, you can effectively handle upset campers without causing embarrassment.

Focus on behaviour, not personality

When dealing with an upset camper, it is important to focus on their behaviour rather than their personality. This means addressing the specific actions or incidents that are causing issues, rather than making personal attacks or criticisms. Here are some strategies to achieve this:

Separate the individual from the group

Take the camper away from the group for a few minutes to calm down and ask them to explain their side of the story. It is important to give them a chance to share their perspective and any reasons for their behaviour. This can help you understand the underlying causes of their actions and find a resolution.

Focus on specific behaviours

When discussing the incident, be specific about the behaviours that need to change. For example, instead of saying "You are being too loud", say "Please lower your voice because it is disturbing others". This way, the camper understands the impact of their actions and can make a clear adjustment.

Provide clear and consistent rules

Ensure that the camper understands the rules and expectations of the camp. Rules should be clearly communicated, consistently applied, and regularly reviewed. This helps campers understand the boundaries and the consequences of breaking them.

Offer alternatives and consequences

Work with the camper to identify acceptable alternatives to their problematic behaviour. For example, if they are struggling with following instructions, offer them a choice between two acceptable options instead. Additionally, outline the consequences of continuing the unwanted behaviour. These consequences should be reasonable and related to the behaviour.

Encourage empathy and responsibility

Help campers understand the impact of their behaviour on others. Encourage them to take responsibility for their actions and make amends if they have caused harm. This can be done through activities that promote empathy, such as role-playing or group discussions.

Remember, the goal is to help campers understand the impact of their actions and make positive changes. By focusing on specific behaviours and providing clear guidelines, you can effectively address issues without attacking their personality or sense of self-worth.

Frequently asked questions